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can’t wait for end of may, where my morning roster cycle will come to an end.

i’ve been waking up at three plus in the morning every other day to report for work at five plus. though it’s usual practice for our rosters to be divided into regular cycles that follow a circadian rhythm, and i do have my fair share of morning runs, i’ve never encountered so many consecutive flights with such early reporting times eh, argh!

but i guess the good thing is that it makes me fall asleep more easily, since i’m so tired all the time. still, sleep debt is something that can never be fully returned. i wonder how many years of my life have been shaved off from all these sleepless days and nights. 😦



[n] the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.



the storm out there is a passionate orchestra, despite its slumbering, unresponsive audience.

i wish there is a word to describe the melancholy that creeps on me in the middle of the night, making me feel like the people in faded photographs and grainy films. 

a sense of weightlessness which somehow feels laden too. 

ghostly, unreal, and so, so sad.

does that make sense to you? 

it will probably mean as little to me tomorrow morning, where light and noise will dispel all pointless, wandering thoughts. 

who knows, i may even laugh at myself a little for being so melodramatic.

but for now, i’m immersed in it, not quite sure if i want to even get out; this mood seems right for the raging storm out there somehow.

the kind of things insomnia does to you…


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back from beijing, which shares the same GMT as singapore.

so why do i find myself stuck in yet another sleepless night?

i cannot remember when my sleeping cycle started going out of rhythm again, but yes here i am now, wide awake at 0253.

how are you doing? i hope that at this very moment when you are reading this, you have had a rejuvenating rest the night before, or are preparing for a good night’s sleep soon.

but if for some unfortunate reason, you are as reluctantly wakeful as i am, you may want to consider the following options to guide you into la la land:

#one: listen to soft, soothing instrumental music, preferably with sounds of birds and water. how do i know it works? i always fall into deep sleep at the spa salon that i regularly go to, even BEFORE the relaxing facial session begins. i just lie down there, surrounded by that music while waiting for my beautician, and within five minutes or so, i find myself drooling away already.

my personal favourite track, however, is weightless by marconi union, which i use as lullaby when i have to squeeze in a power nap before a flight, and i know i will be so pressured into falling asleep that i won’t be able to.

this song is said to have been tested by scientific studies, with results showing a 35% lower resting heart and respiratory rate among participants, and overall anxiety reduced by a whooping 65%.

true or not, i cannot say for sure, but at least it has worked for me so far. if you are interested to give it a try yourself, there is a ten-hour version on youtube, which means there is less chance of you waking up to sudden silence. (how spooky is that?!)

#two: put on a steam eye mask, which is a level up from the traditional eye mask. it is (probably) common knowledge that darkness will help induce sleep (though i sleep fine with lights on when staying in hotels), but the steam eye mask does one better by improving the blood circulation of your eyes, and erm…make you feel more comfortable, and erm…come to think of it, i’m not sure of the real theory behind how it may help you sleep better (or not), haha.

the real reason why i started wearing the steam eye mask is nothing to do with encouraging sleep, to be honest, but because i reckon that the heat around my eyes will help stimulate the absorption of my eye cream, hahaha!

well, i guess if i know that my eye cream can be fully absorbed, thus improving the condition of my dark circles and wrinkles (problems caused by the lack of sleep, of course), i will unconsciously feel more relaxed, and knock out more quickly. sounds bimbotic, but it also kinda makes sense, right? hahaha!

#three: blog, or write in your diary, or whatever that helps extract your thoughts from your brain, and store them in a safe place where they can no longer bother you. (till later, maybe, but let’s take one step at a time.)

you know how sometimes, your eyes and body are very tired, but your mind is like a kid high on sugar, madly running about at 120km/hour? (i know that figure doesn’t make sense, but you know what i mean.) if you cannot grab hold of that crazy kid which is your mind, and plant him firmly in his quiet corner to show him who’s boss, there is no way you can achieve peace long enough to fall asleep.

so…what to do? on such occasions, i always think about that scene in harry potter where professor dumbledore put his wand to his temple, and drew out long, silver threads which he then dropped into a basin before him, sometimes looking at it, sometimes poking or stirring it. that’s the pensieve, and it’s one of the most brilliant things from harry potter’s world which i wish exist here in real life. but since it doesn’t, i have to make do with my blog then.

when i put my late night musings (which tend to be especially melancholic at night for some reason) into words, and throw them onto my blog where i can examine and edit them, organise them and make sense of them, and eventually forget about them, my mind and heart can somehow feel lighter, and i usually zonk out quite quickly thereafter.

so yap, those are three suggestions that have been serving me well most of the time, so you may want to try them out.

oh i hear you asking, why am i still here tapping away on my keyboard then, if these proposals solve my problem of sleeplessness?

well, i’ve just executed solution #three, haven’t i? next, i have a new steam eye mask beside me now which i will bring with me to bed after this. i can’t play any music though, because i’m home with D tonight and he’s snoring away already. nevertheless, that’s two out of three cards played, so i think i have a good chance. haha…

good night then, my dear readers, and hope that the above tips will bring you into slumberland soon, where endless sweet dreams await! i will see you on the other side! ❤

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